i feel good 2day...is damm good... well, let i start what i have done 2day... i wake up on 10am because i have my consumer behaviour group assignment discussion on 11am... So, i decided to spend all my time at college after the group discussion.... since my consumer behaviour's quiz will be on next tuesday, so it is better to do my revision at my college's library... can't believe what i say rite??? i'm spending my quality time on libaray... i noe it sounds weird when i say i do my revision in my college's library... come on lar~ stephanie juz wan 2 try some different things lol....okie i spent around 4 hours to study my consumer behaviour in the library... haha..i'm proud of myself... nah, sometimes stephanie will try to be a good gal too... i feel tat i din waste my time and i really gain something on 2day and tis really make me feel good... my mom always say i'm wasting my time... yaya, i'm the gal who always rotting at home without doing anything.... sleeping, eating, watching tv and day-dreaming will be my daily routine and i luves those activity so much and they becum part of my body... i can't live without doing tat on everyday... it sounds ridiculous rite??? ya, i noe i'm crapping~ i try something different on 2day and i really like it and maybe i will do it more often... since our lifes are short, we shuld do something tat really benefit to us... we need to spend quality of time and not quantity of time...okie???besides tat, there are some interesting things happen on 2day... i meet jj..(the fake one) he looks like jj for me... when i'm doing my revision at library, i'm wondering will he coming on 2day... because he used to spend his time at library and i meet him few times b4... seriously i'm not stalking him, i juz meet him accidently... so when i'm still wondering, i saw him walk in to the library wif his frens... haha, he makes me feel more semangat to study lol...dun worry, i din like him or admire him, i'm juz feel happy to see him.. tat's all... nothing is gonna to happen between us... obviously, i won't walk infront of him and ask his phone no.. dun be silly, stephanie won't do tis kind of things... i feel exicting whenever i pretend to like a guy maybe tis won't make my life becum so borin'... sorry, i'm not playing ppl's feeling, i oli shock sendiri... besides tat, i'm vry confirm tat the guy might not noe who am i and never ever notice me...i'm sure tat he won't like a gal like me lol... i'm the one who syok sendiri lol.. anyway i really feel good 2day...



i feel good



me, ht and bluey



we r in pink

i'm havin' a tough time now... a lots of assignment are waiting for me and i noe i shuldn't blogging now... at least for this moment or after i finish all my works.. my mind say yes but my heart say no so i juz decided to follow wat my heart say b'cox i dun wan my heart to get hurt anymore... there are alots of thing happen in this week... i still feel doubt that shuld i share it out or juz keep it , but i think i will feel better after i write it out... again, if u feel borin' about wat i'm going to write , juz stay until here and dun continue to read it!!!
actually i feel quite shame when my english was judged by somebody... i noe my english was sucks (until i dunno shuld use "is" or "was", watever~) .... i noe the words i write it out is sucks but seriously i'm not writing for u to read , u're the one who choose to read it so pls dun complaining about it... my english was sucks, so wat??? i'm juz a typical malaysian who speaking or writing some broken english ... ya, i noe i ruined the malaysian's image...i'm juz so so so chinese~ ( actually i'm not good in chinese even i learn chinese b4, i'm juz not good in anything~i
'm sucks)mybe i'm juz not as lucky as you, u have a good environment to learn english or u juz have the oppurtunity tat someone can teach you how to speak fluent english and write a fantastic essay....or u can say tat i'm not hardworking enuff, lasy , dun pay attention when teacher was teaching and tat's why my english was so sucks.... come and sue me lar!!! i noe some ppl must juz feel tat being kind to tell someone tat u nid to improve ur english ... but do u noe, when u say it out , can u juz care about ppl feeling?? at least please watch out ur word when u throw it out... it is quite offensive sometimes and u might destroy someone confident.... english is important and everyone noe it... so wat?? juz assumed that i can't do it well....i got a failure in my english... so i dun mind u all looking down on me...english= high class ppl ??? is tat a true statement?? i noe some ppl would not feel it tat way but it seems tat it was a fact... people who was good in english , mostly get better respect and they can be classified as high-class ppl, is tat true?? then, i will be very sure that i'm a down-town gurl... i'm not sure tat the "someone" will read my blog ar not, i hope tat he/ she will understand my broken english... even though i say i dun mind wat they talking about me, but it's really hurt me... i dun wan 2 pretend tat i'm okie and i want to tell u " i really x3 not okie" ....
do u ever cry in ur dream??? yes, i do... yesterday night, i have a nightmare... actually i shuld say it is a bad dream... juz some bitter memories that come into my dream... i was crying in my dream, i thought it was only a dream... i'm wrong... i was actually crying in the real life... my sis wake my up and ask me why i'm crying...i'm so shock b'cox i though i was crying in my dream and i duno i'm actually crying in my real life... i din tell my sis wat was happening, i juz told her i'm having a nightmare... is not a nightmare, it was something tat really havin' in my real life... it is a bad feeling tat i'm having for so many years...
those memories really hurts me and tat's why i will cry for it even in my dream or in my real life... tis is not the 1st time i have tis kind of dreams... i really hope tat they can stay away from me... i want a sweet dream b'cox i have aredi suffering a lots in my real life.. please let me enjoy when my mind was resting.... sometimes i juz need some rest!!! i'm so so so tired...

ciao~

Today is friday!!! yeappy!!! no more classes for tis week and 2moro will be my lovely saturday... yaya, i think i shuld take an oppurtunity to have a gud rest on tis weekends.. Finally i found tat it is not easy to havin' 7 subject in a semester b'cox it really makes my life so so so hectic and i dun even get enuff sleep for everyday...i have a strong feel tat my life is going to gone very soon, so plz pray hard for me, okie???
Today i went back to jalan ipoh to have my lunch wif my frenz, Ann. "jalan Ipoh", a place tat i miss it so much.I found tat it is fun to havin' lunch wif my bestie b'cox i seldom havin' lunch wif her. So, i think i gonna meet her more often. One more thing, i dun c tat your new hair style is kinda weird and it was okie for me, good try!!! For sure, it looks better than ur old hair style. Actually i plan to take some photo wif you b'cox i almost can't find any pic tat i take it wif you and i think tis will be the only one. So please remind me to take some photo wif u when we meet next time, okie???

Notes: it shuld be last friday post,so sorry i post it late!!

Wat is the feeling being hated by someone???unhappy?? sad?? depressed?? angry ?? or nothing at all??? i think i will feel nothing because i have aredi used to it... i'm being hated by many people and i started 4get how to react when someone say tat he/she hate me... is true, i really 4get the feeling ady... maybe i'm not good looking enuff (so-called "yong sui").. erm, maybe i'm not sincere enuff ( so-called "fake") maybe me , myself having attitude problem ( seriously, i think i havin' it)... or maybe ppl juz dun like me when they look at me ..or the feeling is not rite... tat's why they hate me~!!! so how??? wat can i do??? obviously i'm not going to do any plastic surgery cox i hv no money to do so and i dun think i nid it... i'm not da one who going to change so if u really can't stand it, juz go away and leave me alone... Juz assumed tat i'm bad, evil and bitchy, i dun mind b'cox i noe i'm not and i'm not up to tat standard yet...i still have a long wat to go~
i noe one of my best fren having tis kind of problem... sad to c her so depressed, i noe she will be recovering vry soon..but it seems like she still havin' a tough time and i feel sad when i can't do anything for her and watching her suffering... sorry ya~ actually i really can't help much, i'm da one who recover from tis kind of situation..it is tough and suffering but time will goes by... seriously, "time" really helps a lots... even i noe u hate the word " time" ... i'm not sure tat whether u will read my blog arnot but i still hope tat u wun mind...
actually is not hard to hate someone and it is not hard to being hated but wat the purpose tat we hate someone??? and sometimes it is tiring, don't you?? we nid to learn how to let go and it is hard to do it.. i use alot of time to learn it and finally i din hate anyone now and i juz dislike somebody oli...tis makes my life becum more easier and more relax but for sure my life becum more boring =p...the word 'let go" sound easy but actually not... but if u think u'r not willing, not ready, not going to , please dun force yourself and juz let it be... b'cox somebody use their entire life to do tat and for sure they are not happy at all...so wat the purpose for doing tat???

My Chinese New Year's holidays will going to end vry soon... still few more hours to go...Do you all enjoy your holidays??? hope u all will have a great time in your holidays even though i noe some of my friends are didn't enjoy it at all... Cheer up gal ( Ann), ur bad luck will going off vry soon...

Haiz, i actually wish my holidays will be alittle bit longer because i noe tat there will be a lots of assignment and homework for me when the school starts... Omg!!! i'm sure tat i will die very hardly...i hv no idea what i shuld do for my Consumer Behavior's assignment... summore there will be a quiz for my Acounting principle II and i not yet do any preparation for it... Sad!!! my life sure will be miserable, horrible, terrible and vegetable... And one more thing, i muz make sure tat i will get a vry gud result for tis semester, at least a 3.0 cgpa... please pray hard for me, i beg you...

Tat day, one of my funny coursemate come over and talk to me... "U're Stephanie rite??? i remember you"... i'm juz ha??? wtf u talking about?? i noe you but i'm not so close wif you and never talk wif u b4... come on, please dun act like u noe so well...watever!! sue me la!!! yaya, i'm so so cool and i hate to pretend tat i'm friendly... Summore, i remember tat day i went to my mum friend's house... and my auntie' daughter bring along her boyfriend... i'm confirm i dunnoe him at all and i never see him b4... but he act like we noe each other for very long time ady... Come on, i noe u all are friendly, but dun u think all of you are over react??? So sorry, if u think tat i'm weird, and it's okie for me, juz assumed tat i'm juz not as friendly as you...

I visit my friend's house 2day... is nice to meet all of my friend, where i belong and i seriously miss them so much, not only those ppl but also the scene, environment, building etc... i miss it alot, especially those memory tat i had it before and it would not replay again...dunnoe why, whenever i passby Jalan Ipoh, i will feel it tat way and i started becum emo.. i really can't describe my feeling now.. really speechless~again, hate it!!!There are one more thing tat i miss it so much... Putra LRT... is quite sometime i din take it... i miss the moment tat i have it....






ciao~

will be updated soon...

Actually there are still few more hours to go, but let me say it early, "Happy Chinese New Year " to you all, hope tat everyone will enjoy it... For those who are non-chinese, i'm here to wish you all have a happy holidays...
This year is not much different than previous year, we will have our reunion dinner at Cititel Hotel. Hope tat their buffet will be delicious enuff, cox tis will be the 1st time we try at Cititel Hotel, we used to have our dinner at Legend Hotel but it was too far from our house. Since we are aredi shift to Petaling Jaya, so my mum decided to bring us to Cititel Hotel to have our reunion buffet, hope tat we will enjoy it !!! i'm quite excited to have my dinner at there, dun ask me why, i oso dunnoe why. Maybe it had aredi quite some time i din having any buffet at hotel. Yaya, juz assumed tat i juz come out from kampung ( Kampung Mali) so for sure i will try my very best and eat as much as i can.I dun mind i will gain my weight again cox i'm aredi a fat gal.watever~

2moro, juz as usual we will pay a visit to our relative house and get some ang pao from them... i'm not excited at all cox i aredi do the same thing for 19 years...So, do u all feel the same way too??? Anyway, i still hope tat u all will enjoy it...Even though i feel bored about tat,but i still feel happy b'cox i can wear all my new clothes and tis will be my most enjoyable part...

Tat's all, will be update very soon...
ciao~
GONG XI FATT CAI!!!!

* 8 random facts about me.* tagged by HT

1. I'm weird,freak,unpredictable, emotional and miserable. So dun ever try to judge me because u might not know me well. Please leave me alone and stop judging me!!! I need my own space....

2. I'm stoo-pid. I really hate my stoo-pidness.Tat's why i always do silly and foolish mistakes. So please forgive my stoo-pidness because i juz forget to bring my brain out sometimes...

3. I'm a huge, fat and ugly gal, do u all agree??? =p

4. I'm so lost sometimes. I can't even knoe wat-the-hell i'm doing. Who am i???

5. I hate faker. So faker, please stay away from me!!! Dun ever try to pretend because i can see thru you...( Jeremy is always watching on you)

6. I'm a loner and used to it. I'm not sad to be loner but i sked to be loner. So, can you all remove my loneliness???

7. I love myself than nobody does. No one who willing to love me, tat's why i need to love myself than nobody does. I'm protecting myself so please don't ever try me and i never give a damm!!! Try on your own risk...

8. I heart paul frank, do you???

Finally~ i hv finish it...

Don't know why i suddenly feel like i wan 2 blog something,hmph mybe i juz can't sleep and i dunoe wat else i can do... Mybe blogging will be the best thing to do whenever i feel doubt and i can't sleep...
Juz now i chat wif a guy tat i admire once upon a time ago... seriously, i had no more feeling wif him and it makes me feel more comfortable to chat wif him... i still remember last time when i chat wif him, i was a bit shy and sked... but now, i can't feel anything... he is a libra guy... tell u a secret, stephanie believe in horoscope and i damm believe it... i, myself is a libra gal and according to my horoscope, i only suitable wif gemini, aquarius and also libra as well... u muz think tat i'm mad...Nope, u'r wrong... it's sound ridiculous but it was true... if i'm not mistaken if ur couple horoscope is not match wif each other, there is a vry high percentage tat two of you might be break up one day... believe it or not, and is all up to you... Whenever i saw a guy, i mean those guy tat i admire, i will make sure tat our horoscope are match with each other, if not i won't put any hope on it b'cox i believe tat two of us won't be together... Stephanie is so so so so carzy...ya, i'm mad ... wat-everlar~

Tat guy told me he already break up wif his gal fren...i'm juz like ~ speechless... they already together for 3 years, and juz b'cox they feel tat they are not suitable to each other anymore,they decided to break up... 3 years... i don't think it was a short period but why can't they think about their sweet memories tat they having in 3 years when they decided to break up... are those memories are not good enuff to stop them from breaking up??? or maybe memories only memories and there will be another sweet memories after they break up??? dunnoe why i'm so concern about it... is none of my business i shuldn't be so busy body...but i duno why i feel like ~ i juz dunnoe how to describe my feeling now...ish~juz forget about it...

Mybe i don't deserve to say tat..i'm a gal who never get hurt in relationship... juz like wut my fren used to tell me, u will understand it when u in tat situation... mybe one day... but for sure, i will protect myself b4 anyone try to hurt me... sometimes i noe wat i'm doing or my words are too harsh and a bit over... i never think about ppl's feeling when i throw out some words ..but so sorry, it seems like tis is the only way i can protect myself by getting hurt...i'm too overprotected ... i understand my situation, no one will ever care about me... no one will noe when i get hurt or no one who want to protect me so in tis kind of situation, i nid to be strong... i'm not those happy-go-lucky ppl... i also will feel depress and sad so pls dun ever expect i will smile all the time... i think i still have the rights to be sad...but don't worry,i'm not sad to be alone... seriously i'm not and i already used to it... Juz leave me alone whenever i'm emo b'cox i will be recover vry soon...

So i would like to say sorry to those ppl tat hurt by me b4, i'm feel so sorry about it.. i do hope tat u will understand me whenever i do tat to you... i'm juz overprotected myself, juz feel pity on me because i'm only a gal tat always forgotten by ppl... it was so so so pathetic... i used my heart when i was talkin' and i have forgotten i still have my brain... i shuld use it whenever i talk and tat's why ppl always say i hv no brain... u'r wrong... i do have a brain juz i'm too lazy to use it...one thing for sure, those words tat i speak out from my heart is truly from my heart... but whenever those words tat came out from my brain, it will be vry fake b'cox i will think it carefully and digest it whether tat i shuld say it or not.... tat's why sumtimes i hate to use my brain to think...i'm so real and i hate to be fake... i hate faker... so stay away from me, faker!!!( even i'm so fake sumtimes... seriously, i hate the fake me)

Sometimes, i feel so lost... i dunnoe who am i and wat the hell i'm doing. It was too miserable for me... it looks like i always doing the same thing for everyday, but i still can'tfigure it out wat the purpose i do it... i have a lot of secrets in my heart... But dunnoe when i started to keep it in my heart and not let anyone noe about it.... i hate to keep secret b'cox it's suffering... i noe i shuld solve our own problem and do not let others ppl worry about us... But so sorry, i'm a gal and i can't solve it and i really nid help sometimes... i'm still a human being and i nid ppl to care about me... i sked to be alone... but it's seems tat i have to... no one wants to be lonely... do i ever tell u i'm so sked to be alone??? i juz say i'm not sad to be alone but i din say i'm not sked to be alone... everytime i feel sked, i will take a deep breathe and tis will remind me tat no one can't help me and no one is beside me and i nid to be strong... everytime when i feel tat i'm going to fall down and i can't stand it anymore, i will started to cry... everyone hoping tat i can do them some favour... help them to do tis or do tat... but do u ever think about me?? do u all ever think wat u all can do for me?? sometimes i feel tat it was enuff... stop givin' any expectation on me, it was already enuff for me...i do not hope ppl will care about me b'cox no one willing to do tat.. but at least can u all gif me some respect??? is sounds so ridiculous when i say the word "respect"... mybe i dun ever deserve to be respect... am i???

Whenever my fren ask me, how r u now??? i sure will answer them, not bad, at least i'm still alive... ya, i'm still alive... i still remember my very 1st presentation in my public speaking class,the tittle is " nothing is better than you're still alive"... i wrote the speech by my own... for sure, i feel so sad when i write out the speech b'cox wat i'm telling to them is my own experiences and i still remember when i'm givin' my speech i'm almost cry out... 1st, i was too nervous at tat time... 2nd, it was the part when i talk about my grandmother... at tat time, i really feel tat i can't stand it and i noe i'm going to burst out... i noe if i cry out, all my marks will gone... but at last i still did it pretty well, i hv successfully control my emotion and tat's why my life still not yet gone...

Is tat true?? Is tat nothing is better than you'r alive??? i have some bad experience, when my grandmother passed away, i did learn alot of things... alot of human behaviour... human is the most cruel creatures in tis world and money will be the most evil creatures in tis world..do u all agree?? Actually i'm not so close wif my grandmother but i did feel sad when she passed away... i thought i won't feel anything b'cox i did hate her sometimes... but so sorry, i'm not so cruel yet, my blood is still warm...don't why i suddenly miss her now~ how r u now??? do you still feel tat nothing is better than alive??? At least i dun feel the same way like you... i'm not happy and i'm so so so suffering now... but where are you now??? Are you happy now???

dun worry, it's only another my emo post... i will be recover very soon... thx for reading my blog, hope tat wat i'm writing won't bother you...
Have a nice day !!!