Don't know why i suddenly feel like i wan 2 blog something,hmph mybe i juz can't sleep and i dunoe wat else i can do... Mybe blogging will be the best thing to do whenever i feel doubt and i can't sleep...
Juz now i chat wif a guy tat i admire once upon a time ago... seriously, i had no more feeling wif him and it makes me feel more comfortable to chat wif him... i still remember last time when i chat wif him, i was a bit shy and sked... but now, i can't feel anything... he is a libra guy... tell u a secret, stephanie believe in horoscope and i damm believe it... i, myself is a libra gal and according to my horoscope, i only suitable wif gemini, aquarius and also libra as well... u muz think tat i'm mad...Nope, u'r wrong... it's sound ridiculous but it was true... if i'm not mistaken if ur couple horoscope is not match wif each other, there is a vry high percentage tat two of you might be break up one day... believe it or not, and is all up to you... Whenever i saw a guy, i mean those guy tat i admire, i will make sure tat our horoscope are match with each other, if not i won't put any hope on it b'cox i believe tat two of us won't be together... Stephanie is so so so so carzy...ya, i'm mad ... wat-everlar~

Tat guy told me he already break up wif his gal fren...i'm juz like ~ speechless... they already together for 3 years, and juz b'cox they feel tat they are not suitable to each other anymore,they decided to break up... 3 years... i don't think it was a short period but why can't they think about their sweet memories tat they having in 3 years when they decided to break up... are those memories are not good enuff to stop them from breaking up??? or maybe memories only memories and there will be another sweet memories after they break up??? dunnoe why i'm so concern about it... is none of my business i shuldn't be so busy body...but i duno why i feel like ~ i juz dunnoe how to describe my feeling now...ish~juz forget about it...

Mybe i don't deserve to say tat..i'm a gal who never get hurt in relationship... juz like wut my fren used to tell me, u will understand it when u in tat situation... mybe one day... but for sure, i will protect myself b4 anyone try to hurt me... sometimes i noe wat i'm doing or my words are too harsh and a bit over... i never think about ppl's feeling when i throw out some words ..but so sorry, it seems like tis is the only way i can protect myself by getting hurt...i'm too overprotected ... i understand my situation, no one will ever care about me... no one will noe when i get hurt or no one who want to protect me so in tis kind of situation, i nid to be strong... i'm not those happy-go-lucky ppl... i also will feel depress and sad so pls dun ever expect i will smile all the time... i think i still have the rights to be sad...but don't worry,i'm not sad to be alone... seriously i'm not and i already used to it... Juz leave me alone whenever i'm emo b'cox i will be recover vry soon...

So i would like to say sorry to those ppl tat hurt by me b4, i'm feel so sorry about it.. i do hope tat u will understand me whenever i do tat to you... i'm juz overprotected myself, juz feel pity on me because i'm only a gal tat always forgotten by ppl... it was so so so pathetic... i used my heart when i was talkin' and i have forgotten i still have my brain... i shuld use it whenever i talk and tat's why ppl always say i hv no brain... u'r wrong... i do have a brain juz i'm too lazy to use it...one thing for sure, those words tat i speak out from my heart is truly from my heart... but whenever those words tat came out from my brain, it will be vry fake b'cox i will think it carefully and digest it whether tat i shuld say it or not.... tat's why sumtimes i hate to use my brain to think...i'm so real and i hate to be fake... i hate faker... so stay away from me, faker!!!( even i'm so fake sumtimes... seriously, i hate the fake me)

Sometimes, i feel so lost... i dunnoe who am i and wat the hell i'm doing. It was too miserable for me... it looks like i always doing the same thing for everyday, but i still can'tfigure it out wat the purpose i do it... i have a lot of secrets in my heart... But dunnoe when i started to keep it in my heart and not let anyone noe about it.... i hate to keep secret b'cox it's suffering... i noe i shuld solve our own problem and do not let others ppl worry about us... But so sorry, i'm a gal and i can't solve it and i really nid help sometimes... i'm still a human being and i nid ppl to care about me... i sked to be alone... but it's seems tat i have to... no one wants to be lonely... do i ever tell u i'm so sked to be alone??? i juz say i'm not sad to be alone but i din say i'm not sked to be alone... everytime i feel sked, i will take a deep breathe and tis will remind me tat no one can't help me and no one is beside me and i nid to be strong... everytime when i feel tat i'm going to fall down and i can't stand it anymore, i will started to cry... everyone hoping tat i can do them some favour... help them to do tis or do tat... but do u ever think about me?? do u all ever think wat u all can do for me?? sometimes i feel tat it was enuff... stop givin' any expectation on me, it was already enuff for me...i do not hope ppl will care about me b'cox no one willing to do tat.. but at least can u all gif me some respect??? is sounds so ridiculous when i say the word "respect"... mybe i dun ever deserve to be respect... am i???

Whenever my fren ask me, how r u now??? i sure will answer them, not bad, at least i'm still alive... ya, i'm still alive... i still remember my very 1st presentation in my public speaking class,the tittle is " nothing is better than you're still alive"... i wrote the speech by my own... for sure, i feel so sad when i write out the speech b'cox wat i'm telling to them is my own experiences and i still remember when i'm givin' my speech i'm almost cry out... 1st, i was too nervous at tat time... 2nd, it was the part when i talk about my grandmother... at tat time, i really feel tat i can't stand it and i noe i'm going to burst out... i noe if i cry out, all my marks will gone... but at last i still did it pretty well, i hv successfully control my emotion and tat's why my life still not yet gone...

Is tat true?? Is tat nothing is better than you'r alive??? i have some bad experience, when my grandmother passed away, i did learn alot of things... alot of human behaviour... human is the most cruel creatures in tis world and money will be the most evil creatures in tis world..do u all agree?? Actually i'm not so close wif my grandmother but i did feel sad when she passed away... i thought i won't feel anything b'cox i did hate her sometimes... but so sorry, i'm not so cruel yet, my blood is still warm...don't why i suddenly miss her now~ how r u now??? do you still feel tat nothing is better than alive??? At least i dun feel the same way like you... i'm not happy and i'm so so so suffering now... but where are you now??? Are you happy now???

dun worry, it's only another my emo post... i will be recover very soon... thx for reading my blog, hope tat wat i'm writing won't bother you...
Have a nice day !!!