I'm back. Sometimes i really dunno how to do an introduction for my blog. You will find me keep on using the same opening for my every blog. I'm not a creative person and i always do.Buying the same present for everyone and wrap it with a same present paper already proof that I'm not creative. But one thing i would like to make myself clear is i do really appreciate all the hard work that friends do it for me and i do like to put my efforts on them too. even I'm not creative enough, but please don't
judge my sincerity! I'm just a simple minded girl and i always do things with my heart and not my mind, that's why people will say i have no brain and i admit that i din bring my brain along for all the time.

One of my friend says that i dislike the life that I'm having now. Yup, i really dislike it but i think the word "hate" should be replace the word "dislike". it should be "i hate my life". i hate everything that i having now. it was so not me. i hate the fake smile i use.i hate people that don't understand me. i hate people over-judge me. i hate the pressure and stress that I'm having now. i hate the expectation that giving by my family wherein i can't do anything for them. i hate that i can't even get myself into sleep every night. i hate to hide my emotion in front of people. i hate to act like I'm a happy-go-lucky person. I'm suffering and you all will never understand my feeling, don't you??? I'm a low-esteem person, that's why i will easily get myself depress.Everyday, i need to keep on telling myself I'm happy and I will be fine very soon and it was damm tiring. I know you all might think that i have everything and my life is better than many peoples. No way... it seems like i have everything but actually i have nothing. my life sucks!!! being Stephanie is just ~ (speechless) maybe there is no word that i can use to describe myself. whatever!!! I'm not an important person. I'm just nobody. I can just let myself disappear anytime and no one will care about it.

I'm that kind of girl who like to complain a lot and do nothing to change. i have a lot of dissatisfaction and i never feel enough. i never gain anything in my life. I'm just a loser. I always get myself in trouble and this is the only things i can do it well, nothing else~ I should be alone. I dun deserve to get any love from anyone. it is better to isolate myself from the others. i need a hole to let myself jump in. i just need to be myself sometimes. maybe~

i think i can be a good partner, maybe a good lover. again maybe~ i can do anything if i willing to do. but i dun think i have the opportunity to do that. the person that i wan to treat him good will never know it. I'm not a perfect girl for him and i will never be perfect for anyone. Maybe I'm only a friend for him and i always will be his friend. i dun deserve to love anyone because i dun even like myself. ya, I'm just crapping.. what I'm writing now is just a piece of shit. please ignore it~



I'm just like an elephant and I'm ugly but she is adorable









-the end-
i have nothing to share ~
another emo day for me