Holiday - Day 3 (30/7/2008)

It's not midnight now. It is quite strange to see myself blogging at the day time. Yup, is afternoon, 4pm.. hrmm, can it be consider evening? not so sure about that. Hope someone will let me know whether it is afternoon or evening. I wake up at 12pm. After having my breakfast, i watch a movie named " employee of the month". I watch it because of Jessica Simpson. That's all no other reason but this movie is kinda interesting and the story quite different with the others. I'm not going to to discuss about that movie, so if you are interested about it, watch it yourself. Some more this movie is not a new movie, it is already shown for 2-3 years ago.

After the movie, i decided to clean my house. Okie, it is quite funny for you when Stephanie says she want to clean the house. I'm not kin in doing housework and I know I'm kinda suck in doing housework. What to do? Mummy say if I don't clean the house, she might not give me pocket money. You know i never want to mess up with my mom because she is my financial controller and I think doing housework is not a difficult work and I think i can handle it well when i willing to do something. Some more doing housework might help me burn out few calories and i really need this kind of exercise now since i only eat and sleep during my holidays. After sweating for an hour, i finally finish cleaning my house. I'm quite impress and satisfy for what i have done. I think i did it pretty well compare to my sister.

Sometimes i really hate to stay in a double-storey link house. It kinda freak me out. I need to go up and down for everyday.I must always make sure i have nothing left whenever i step out my house if not i will need to go up again to get back my stuff. This really kinda tiring, some more when i already dress up myself. You can say I'm lazy but whatever , like i really care. Yup, I'm lazy and I admit it. When my mom decided to buy a double-storey house, i actually not supporting at all. I like to stay at condominium. I like the swimming pool, gymnasiums room, sauna room, play ground, tennis court and the badminton court that i used to have at my condominium.But according to my mom theory, landed property always has the value while condominium would not has the value, some more she is the one who buy the house and I'm only the temporary resident and she actually expect me to move out when I can buy a new house later. Okie, when come to this point, i think i should shut my mouth up. I have no comment about it anymore. Maybe what my mom say is right and it is not good to mess up with her, if not i think i will have no place to stay. What my mom says is always right and there is no objection for me to say no. One day, when i can buy myself a house, i will decide what kind of house i want to stay. Maybe it takes me 10 years to achieve my dreams. haha ~ =D

Will be continue ~

Holiday - Day 2 (29/7/2008)

My holidays are still boring but i will keep trying to make it interesting.
Today, i flip through my younger sister moral text book and i found an interesting story that i used to told by my teacher when I'm still in primary school. There is a story told of the six blind men who went to 'see' an elephant. I think most of us are familiar with this story. I feel it was interesting and want to share it out. Since they were blind, they could not see the whole elephant. Each felt a part of the elephant and each interpreted that the elephant looked like the part he felt. The one who touched a side declared that it was like a wall; the one who touched the tail declared that it was long and thin and so on. None would agree with the views if the others; not having had the same experience. This story actually illustrated how argument arise. It is a matter of each person in an argument seeing things only from his viewpoint while being unable, or refusing, to see the viewpoints of anyone else.

Actually, from birth we grow up seeing the world as dictated by our parents and other adults in our lives. Each of us actually are moulded to see the world in a certain way at the exclusion of other ways. In fact, many of us grow up and think that there is only one way of looking at things and are surprised when others do not see them the way we do. This might be a survival instinct. From a young age, each of us is trained to think in a certain way to ensure our very survival. If we do not do what the adults want us to do, they will abandon us or hurt us or punish us so that we will shrivel and die. In time our ways of doing things become habits and it takes a great emotional jolt to ever change our views. Hence we argue hotly that our views are right while all differing ones are wrong.

So the only way we can win an argument is to make the other person see the same view as ourselves.Since it is likely that the other person is as powerfully programmed to his point of view just as we are to our point of view, we never really win an argument. Of course, out of courtesy or fear, we can get another person to see our point of view, but to actually convince them about our correctness and to his 'wrongness' is usually impossible. Such being the case, arguments never really come to an end and are therefore never settled.

Obviously, I'm one of them. Whenever people have a different opinion with me , i will just ignore them and concluded it as a wrong opinion. I always think my decision or opinion is the right one and i never do things wrong but the others will. I know I'm stubborn and i won't accept people's opinion easily. I hate people who actually not agree with you but they do so just because they don't want to argue with you. What is the point you agree with something that you actually not agree. To get rid of arguments? Is that the way you deal with people? Being a nice person with this way will just help you to lost your own principal. Maybe argument would not be the best way to solve problems but we still can go for some rational discussion and try to make a conclusion for everyone to accept it. But i think most of the people won't do that because their thinking are too conservative. They just want every things come with peace and try to get rid from problem. Maybe i should be one of them, so that this world will be more peaceful.

will be continue ~

Holiday - Day 1 ( 28/7/2008)

Having my holidays now. I don't know how to spent my holidays. Loitering at home will be the best thing i can do. Eating and sleeping will be the activities that i use to do for every holidays that i have. So, no doubt, gaining weight will be the mission that i can achieve easily without any difficulties. Funny? yup, my life is like this, it sound ridiculous but this is my life ~ Stephanie's life.
Watch Red Cliff with my mom on Sunday. Seriously, i hate that kind of movie and i seldom watch Chinese movie in cinema. I thought this kind of movie will be damn boring but I should keep my words back because this movie really change my mind. It was interesting and it's worth to watch (not because of the handsome actors). I seldom watch movie with my friends or family. Sometimes i really think that I'm kinda out-dated. I always stay at home and I'm like lost connection with the outside world especially during holidays because I'm that kind of person who can stay at home for a month without step out from my house. Surprise? yup, I'm that kind of person. Maybe, I'm just too lazy and i hate to dress up myself. I prefer to stay at home doing something that really make me comfortable.
Eventually, i get myself sleep on 2am this morning and wake up at 6pm. I have sleep for 16 hours. wow ~ i really think I'm a pig ~ a big fat pig. LOL! I like to sleep and i think sleeping can help me get rid of problems. I no need to use my brain and i can let my brain have a good rest. but sometimes sleeping make me feel more tired. Just don't know why i still feel tired after sleeping for 16 hours. Maybe I'm just over sleep and my body just not ready to wake up.
I didn't touch my piano for three months and i think i need to do something about that. Since I'm free now, i think i should catch up my piano skills. Like what my mom says, i shouldn't wasted all the efforts that i use to learn piano. maybe~ i will learn a piece of song and upload it, so that all of you can comment on my piano skill.(or i might just end up doing nothing ~) =)

stay tune with my holidays life,
if you're interested.
because it might be boring for you.
but it still my life ~
Stephanie's life.

Me, myself and my friends




Benny and i




eve, bluey, me, benny and how theng








when we are not ready.






i find that i seldom take pictures with two of them. Bluey, me and eve

"Flowers are always beautiful but they are not long lasting.

My life will never beautiful for once or ever and it is dull and lifeless. Sorry for being emo for every post but i just can't help that. It is my feeling and this almost drive me crazy. My life is just like a sad drama and I'm the only character who plays inside the drama.

Sometimes being innocent might help you get rid of problems but it seems like we should always know when is the time for being innocent. Seriously, i might not be a good actress.That's why i always get myself in problems and i damn hate it. I don't know how to pretend or act. I'm just me. I hate to know what people is thinking and i hate to deal with people. I might not always be the miss. Nice and i have my evil side too. But i think this is better than those people who always wearing a mask to cover themselves. I hate people who have two face. Please stay away from me. I'm not smart enough, i don't know when you are wearing your mask. I'm not good in gaming and I'm too tired to play this kind of game. I just want a simple life with some simple friend and a simple me. Please dun make my life miserable and complicated.
I miss my secondary school life. I miss the simple me. I miss those memories that i have during my secondary school life. I miss the bunch of friends that I used to have. I miss you all~ would you like to bring back all my memories to me? Can i stop the time? I'm exhausted. Please stop fooling me around. I'm stoo-pid and I really have no idea what the hell that you all doing. Please just leave me alone and all i need is time.

I will be fine very soon.

I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.

Finally i have finish my intercultural comm. paper. What a relief! Seriously i put a lot of efforts on this paper and i hope i can get an A for this paper. Please ~ I have already few days din sleep well. My anxiety is killing me. I really hate that kind of feeling. I can even hear my heart pumping for every seconds. Damn torturing. Argh~ The dean list for last semester is out and my name still din appear in the list. I'm just wonder when i can put my name inside the dean list. I know i can do it and i know almost there and i still need a bit hard work to make it. I believe in myself. If you think you can, you can, you can!
After this week, i will have 3 weeks of holidays. I'm still wondering what i should do for my holidays. First at all, what i will like to do will be adjusting my sleeping time. I don't want to stay in front of my computer until 4am for everyday. You might just wonder how i spent my time until 4am. I have no idea how i can make it for everyday. Doing the same routine. sign in to msn messenger, waiting people to chat with me, check my hotmail, looking for interesting video, erm~ maybe download some songs, that's all. Boring rite? these are the activities i do it for everyday. Pathetic? yeah is kinda of. But instead of that, i really dunno what i still can do in the early morning. everyone is sleeping except me, the freak one. I just can't sleep. I try to put myself on bed, but end it up by looking at the ceiling until 4am. My mind will just keep on working and i will keep on thinking and thinking and this really freak me out sometimes. I hate to use my brain to think. erm~ what else i can do? maybe playing with my two dogs. But sometimes they dun even bother me at all because most of the time they are sleeping.They are just too lazy to play with me. Sad case rite? This is Stephanie's life, one word to describe - boring.
I know we need to paint out life with colors and we might be the one who make it colorful, beautiful and wonderful. My friends say that i should be satisfy what i having now because my life is better than the others. Yaya, i know i should appreciate what i have and I'm just the girl who never have enough. I always put a high expectation on myself. I always want something that different than the others. I want to change my life. Maybe sometimes I'm too harsh to myself and forget my own abilities. Who ever am i, I'm just the girl named Stephanie and she never feel enough and she want more and more.


Is time to study~
Au revoir

Okie. Is Final time ~ I'm not fully prepared yet and i really hate that kind of feeling. I hate last minute work but i always do it. I know I'm not a good student but for sure I'm better than those who never care about their results and always take their life easy. I really hate that kind of people. No offense, it's only my personal preferences. Seriously, I'm not born in a wealthy family so I need to study hard to have a better future and change my life. I hate those people who think their parents are rich enough so that they can just waste their parents money as many as they want. They might like to show off how rich is their family. Please ~ I really not interested about it. Whatever you have it now is not belong to you and you din get it by your own effort. So please don't be proud of it. You just the lucky one compare to the others.

Sometime i really think it's unfair to those people who study hard but born in a average family. They might be smart and more hardworking than the others but just because they are not rich enough, their family can't give them a better study environment or can't afford to send them to study abroad so they might end up working after their secondary school. For those rich people, they might not need to get a good result in their exam, they just take their life easy and their parents will just taking care of them. They might not worry about their future, they might not know how difficult to earn money. Because the money that they using just drop down from the sky. So why they need to know what is money about, they just need to know how to spend money. So lucky are they. Seriously, i don't want be one of them.

Money will be the only value we use to judge people. We need money. Everything is about money. I love money but i hate it too. I hate the way he manipulate people life. I hate him for making my life miserable. i really, really, really hate money at this moment. ( Because I love money when i want to shopping)

" Pretty is something, personality is everything."
I like this quote and this quote keep on bother my mind.I get this quote by my friend and I found that it was interesting. Maybe you might not agree with me but undoubtedly in certain circumstances it really mean it to us. Maybe~ I'm not pretty, that's why I know that I need to have my personality to make me stand out. However, I don't think myself have a great personality and I'm a weird person. I have an extraordinary thinking, i think differently than the others. I'm a pessimist.I'm not a confident person. I always feel that I'm not good enough and hate people read through my mind. Luckily, no one could ever understand me, maybe I'm just too weird for them.I'm just a simple person, please don't over-judge me. One thing for sure, I'm not a party girl. I hate party. I prefer to stay at home and sit in front of my computer.I love my computer and I like to communicate with her. I know you must say I'm insane. Whatever~ like u care~

My life is boring. Nothing special. Whatever that I'm doing is just because I need to do it but not because I want to do. I have a dream but my dream will never come true. I have lost it. Can you bring back my dream for me? For sure, I will appreciate what you do for me. I know I will find someone who willing to understand, i just know it. Will you be that person?(joking)By the way,I'm single but not available. I'm not desperate in looking boyfriend. I do enjoy my single life even i feel it is boring.What do you think about your life? Is that interesting?

This semester is going to end. I know I'm going to miss it.Besides that, final exam is coming soon and I need to double up my effort and work it out. If you want to get good result, then you should study hard. wish me good luck. I love the feeling of getting good result, don't you?

Strive hard~
Ciao~

Another busy week for me. A lot of assignments are waiting me and i really sick of it. Everything is out of my control and really hate that kind of feeling. Sometimes I really feel like escape from everything , run away from realities - especially the pains and problems of life. And i know everyone wants to do that as well but how many people have the guts to do that. I'm definitely won't do that because I think that i have already bond with some responsibilities and I really want to be free.I can imagine how high I could fly if i can escape from what I'm having now.
Do you all agree we have too many choices? i hate to make decision between the choices that I have and it seem like I always have the wrong choice and I never get it right. Maybe I'm a lousy person that's why i always get lousy things. Somehow, the idea that we have too many choices and consequently that we should have few choices, does seems a pessimistic one. Sometimes I really feel that life is not simple with simple choices anymore. Whereas society did most of the thinking for us and restricted our choices, often through fear and intimidation. It is now possible for us to study all the choices available and then make informed decisions and do what we really want. But do we always get what we want? No, i really don't think so. In this case, do we still really need a choice or let people makes decision for us? Do we really have a choice?
Choices really make people life become miserable. Not having such choices may have the advantage of keeping life simpler.