11.36 pm
Again, I'm here to start my 115th post in blog spot.
I couldn't believe myself actually having so much of entries in blog spot.
I'm kinda hard working sometimes but unfortunately not for my studies.
I wish I could do that on my studies as well.
For sure, a good result shouldn't be any problem for me anymore.
What I should write for my this post?
My current life? Nope, it's too boring.
My friends? Nope, not anymore. I'm too sick of talking about them.
My parents? Well, I should admit that I do not know my parents very well.
Sometimes I will say that they love me so much, they try to give me everything that I need. Okie, come this to point, you all may assume that my parents might be the good and wonderful parents in this world.
Ya, maybe they are but sometimes I do hate them.
I know I shouldn't use the "hate" word. Never hate your parents no matter what they have do because they are your parents.
I understand the theory but it doesn't mean I must obey it.
I have my own thinking and I know what I'm doing.
You must think that I'm a bad daughter or what-so-ever.
But there is something that you will never understand and you will never know how I feel because you're not in my situation.
I love them too but not the 100 percent love.
Because I care myself more than anyone.
I still remember when I'm still young, my grandma used to ask who is the person I love the most.
That time I only 4 years old and my answer is myself.
I love myself than nobody does.
You will think I'm a selfish person and never care about the others.
I don't mind you say I'm a selfish person and I admit that I am, so what?
When no one is going to love or appreciate me, I think I should be the one who do that to myself.
I don't want be the most pathetic person in this world.
(Even I know I'm on my way to be that person.)
I know who treat me good and who are not.
I also know who are the fakers but I just pretend that I don't know.
If you're trying to fool me please make sure that I'm stupid enough to let you do so.
Some of my friends ask me whether I'm a drama queen.
Seriously, I don't know whether I am or not.
Sometimes, I admit that I'm acting but sometimes I'm not.
Whatever it is, I'm not going to do anything to harm you so please don't worry about that.
I'm might not be sincere for all the time, but when I'm not treating you sincerely, I'm sure that I know you're acting.
If you want to act in front of me so do I, and I will do the same thing to you.
I'm a Libra ~ians.
Everything about me must be fair enough, if I know you are not doing fair with me.
So sorry, I will do the same thing to you.
Every morning when I wake up, I look around and I listen.
I'm alone, and I hear silence.
And slowly but surely a happiness spreads through my body.
A joy.
And I should thank God that somehow, I've managed to remain free.
Free to enjoy my life.
Nothing is better to be free.
So much of being a woman is telling lies, isn't it?
It's telling yourself that you want the things that society tells you you should want.
Women think that survival depends on conformity.
But for some of the women, conformity is death.
It's a death to the soul.
The soul should be a precious thing.
When you live a lie, you damage the soul.
I'm living in a lie and I know I have damaged my soul.
Johnson
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
11:36:00 PM
11:36:00 PM
I'm not a profile person. Get to know me more by reading my blog. I'm not special yet not interesting. My life could be dull but you could be the person to lighten it up.