Holidays ~
Something that I craved for few months ago and finally I have it now...
But It seems like I'm not interested with it anymore...
Holidays = lifeless
When you have nothing to do during your holidays, it could be a sad case for you.
Wake up in the afternoon, looking for food, sitting in front of the computer, waiting everyone comes back, dinner time, and time for bed time story again...
The most "interesting" part is you might continue the same routine for every single day of your holidays...
Come to this point, should I be glad that I'm having my one month semester break?
I'm afraid that I'm not...
One thing that I love about holidays will be the free time that I have it...
I can be alone at home for whole day...
Doing my own stuff without anyone disturbing me...
Think back all the stuff that I have done for the past few months...
Re-arrange all the memories that I have for the past few months as well...
And now I found that sometimes being alone doesn't mean that I'm feel lonely or somehow...
Anyway, I have been alone for my past 20 years and I don't mind to being alone again :)
There are a lot of things happened during this few months...
I try very hard to help myself walk away from the past...
But I still found myself standing at the same place...
I feel insecure...
This is true..
Insecure about my relationship, friendship and etc...
Insecure or uncertainty?
I don't know...
Sometimes I really want to find out what is happen around me but I'm scared to know the truth...
And again, I choose to stay inside my safe zone --- my own territory
I'm weak even though I look strong...
I'm scared but no one knows...
I try to pretend but I know I can't...
I'm faking myself...
I'm not the person that you think I should be...
Sorry for disappointed all of you...
At the end...
I look like an amateur...
I can't bear it anymore...
I know the limits...
I'm tired
&
exhausted
Can I take a break?
When the curtains down, everything should be back to normal...
"You leave me SPEECHLESS, when you talk to me."
9:58:00 PM
9:58:00 PM
I'm not a profile person. Get to know me more by reading my blog. I'm not special yet not interesting. My life could be dull but you could be the person to lighten it up.